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what i never
learned from my mother was that just because someone desires you does not mean they value you. desire is the kind of thing that eats you and leaves you starving. —the color of low self esteem, nayyirah waheed In “the color of low self esteem” by Nayyirah Waheed, the connotation of the word “desire” is discussed. Waheed argues that desire does not equal true appreciation, or possibly love. She does not actually argue this, but by her nature of being a strong woman with no hesitation in asserting her ideas (not a bad thing), I'm going to assume that she is arguing with some poor girl who is sobbing over an ex-boyfriend that just dumped her. Waheed is saying to the girl, “he did not deserve you but most importantly you do not deserve yourself until you realize your worth.” (The girl does not get it or her language.) Waheed’s use of spacing, word choice, and anecdote create meaning in this poem. The title may also be analyzed to draw depth into it. The word choice in “the color of low esteem” creates an entirely new interpretation of what formerly seemed easy enough to understand. What is “the color” of low self esteem, and how is the color of it revealed throughout the poem? How does the desire of another person for you equate to you having low self esteem? Why does self esteem have a color??? Perhaps Waheed is saying that believing that somebody values you solely because they are sexually driven or attracted to you is consequently damaging to yourself. Desire “eats you” and “leaves you starving”—it does not reciprocate, feel, or fulfill. Desire benefits only the desirer. Waheed’s mother neglected teaching her this: “what i never / learned from my mother / was that” desire is damaging to oneself. However, this “was” a mistake on the mother’s behalf—not anymore. This shows growth in the subject, while for the remainder of the poem the subject dwindles and decays down to a starving, empty body. A lesson to be learned from a sad story, combined with the sole mentioning of her mother (a personal betrayal), creates a feeling of a deeper and more emotional connection. As always, Waheed’s utilization of spacing and enjambment in her poems emphasizes the meanings of not only the entire work, but the meaning and connotation of each individual word. This slows the reader down, causing them to take twice as long to read only two sentences. For example, in lines 9-11, “eats you / and / leaves you starving” two pauses are created on each side of the conjunction, drawing emphasis to each individual reaction that desire has on “you.” Desire eats you. And. Leaves you starving. Waheed’s intention of writing is to convey deep and personal messages. She wants to help others like her: women, people of color, women of color, etc. This poem is a fantastic representation of why she writes; bold words with deep emotional ties and a striking layout create emphasis, assertion, and touching advice that says, “I know what I’m doing and I know who I am.”
2 Comments
Tyler
1/11/2017 08:22:13 am
What the author said is very true. It goes along with the concept of not being able to love someone if you can't even love yourself. Self-esteem is essential for someone, especially in a relationship. I think desire does "eat you" in a sense that will leave you wanting more, which will inevitably be your undoing. Having solely a sexual attractions towards someone will do way more harm than good. As for your analysis, you described it well. You got your point across and simplified it for those who didn't understand the poem.
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Nora House
1/13/2017 05:38:47 am
You did a great job explaining this poem and giving your own perspective. The poem is short, but very powerful as well. This poem really makes you think, as I have never considered desire in this way. I like your thoughts on what Waheed is trying to say; I think you have done a good job breaking it down.
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AuthorJosie Kremer Archives
January 2017
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